My schedule
It's very demanding being Chief Executive around here. It's just sooo exhausting. That's why I have to be in bed by 6.30pm.
As you can see from my gruelling schedule for a typical working day.
About 8.30am - I arise. Although sometimes I'm so worn out by the previous day that I need to sleep until 9.30am. Sadly, my assistant never seems to take advantage of this opportunity to get more work done.
8.30 - 9am Breakfast - a cup of warm milk, and then a bowl of cereal with fruit. Good nutrition is very important to me, so I insist on fresh fruit like mango, melon and papaya. In the meantime my assistant has a cup of coffee.
9-9.15am: My assistant, who's also my personal shopper, selects an outfit. I have to say this is the one task for which she seems to have sufficient motivation.
9.15-10.30am: An hour and a half's work managing the troops in my personal work-area (which could be more spacious, but does have the best view available in the building), while my assistant prepares Head Office ready for my inspection.
10.30am: With my assistant following closely behind, supposedly taking notes, I make my way around the office and examine everything to ensure it's in good working order and that everything is in the right place. My assistant is, between you and me, not very high calibre, so almost every day I have to move items back to their proper place, and sometimes rearrange entire filing cabinets.
11.30am: Lunch. Unfortunately I often have to shout at my assistant as she is invariably too slow a chef, I really must look into replacing her. Anyway, I absolutely insist on nutritious home-made fare representing all the major food groups. Yesterday I was served oven-baked salmon with mediterranean couscous; the day before I dined on medium rare steak with sweet potato and squash. Quite frequently however, my assistant fails to prepare a meal meeting my standards, and on these occasions I am regrettably obliged to eat fast food from a jar.
My assistant has a sandwich.
12 - 3pm: I power-nap to recharge the little grey cells and prepare for the afternoon's meetings. My assistant refreshes her appearance, and probably spends the rest of her time doing something like reading low-brow magazines, I really don't know what she gets up to.
3pm: The afternoon's work usually consists of an outing. My assistant doubles as my personal driver. The destination varies. Among other roles, I conduct an orchestra, inspect a variety of civic amenities - parks, churches etc - and maintain my network of important connections in the local community.
5pm: We return to Head Office for a working meal, during which I work hard to improve my hand-to-mouth co-ordination. I have made it abundantly clear to my assistant that I accept ONLY banana sandwiches on white bread during this most challenging of tasks, but she persists in ignoring my wishes. Since I believe in an autocratic management style, I don't hesitate to show my disapproval for the sub-standard fare she produces. I admit I also rather enjoy watching her pick up all the bits.
5.30pm: There is a staff shift change. My other assistant, who meets with my approval at the moment, arrives at work. He is my personal valet, responsible for my daily ablutions, hairstyling and manicures.
6pm: Following my bath, it is then time for my daily gym work-out. The second assistant is a trained gymnast. We work hard with tumbling, somersaults, hanging upside-down by my ankles, etc. This also helps me to relax and unwind after the rigors of the day.
6.30pm: A nice cup of something vintage and a direct communication with the company Chairman before retiring to bed.
As you can see from my gruelling schedule for a typical working day.
About 8.30am - I arise. Although sometimes I'm so worn out by the previous day that I need to sleep until 9.30am. Sadly, my assistant never seems to take advantage of this opportunity to get more work done.
8.30 - 9am Breakfast - a cup of warm milk, and then a bowl of cereal with fruit. Good nutrition is very important to me, so I insist on fresh fruit like mango, melon and papaya. In the meantime my assistant has a cup of coffee.
9-9.15am: My assistant, who's also my personal shopper, selects an outfit. I have to say this is the one task for which she seems to have sufficient motivation.
9.15-10.30am: An hour and a half's work managing the troops in my personal work-area (which could be more spacious, but does have the best view available in the building), while my assistant prepares Head Office ready for my inspection.
10.30am: With my assistant following closely behind, supposedly taking notes, I make my way around the office and examine everything to ensure it's in good working order and that everything is in the right place. My assistant is, between you and me, not very high calibre, so almost every day I have to move items back to their proper place, and sometimes rearrange entire filing cabinets.
11.30am: Lunch. Unfortunately I often have to shout at my assistant as she is invariably too slow a chef, I really must look into replacing her. Anyway, I absolutely insist on nutritious home-made fare representing all the major food groups. Yesterday I was served oven-baked salmon with mediterranean couscous; the day before I dined on medium rare steak with sweet potato and squash. Quite frequently however, my assistant fails to prepare a meal meeting my standards, and on these occasions I am regrettably obliged to eat fast food from a jar.
My assistant has a sandwich.
12 - 3pm: I power-nap to recharge the little grey cells and prepare for the afternoon's meetings. My assistant refreshes her appearance, and probably spends the rest of her time doing something like reading low-brow magazines, I really don't know what she gets up to.
3pm: The afternoon's work usually consists of an outing. My assistant doubles as my personal driver. The destination varies. Among other roles, I conduct an orchestra, inspect a variety of civic amenities - parks, churches etc - and maintain my network of important connections in the local community.
5pm: We return to Head Office for a working meal, during which I work hard to improve my hand-to-mouth co-ordination. I have made it abundantly clear to my assistant that I accept ONLY banana sandwiches on white bread during this most challenging of tasks, but she persists in ignoring my wishes. Since I believe in an autocratic management style, I don't hesitate to show my disapproval for the sub-standard fare she produces. I admit I also rather enjoy watching her pick up all the bits.
5.30pm: There is a staff shift change. My other assistant, who meets with my approval at the moment, arrives at work. He is my personal valet, responsible for my daily ablutions, hairstyling and manicures.
6pm: Following my bath, it is then time for my daily gym work-out. The second assistant is a trained gymnast. We work hard with tumbling, somersaults, hanging upside-down by my ankles, etc. This also helps me to relax and unwind after the rigors of the day.
6.30pm: A nice cup of something vintage and a direct communication with the company Chairman before retiring to bed.
posted by BS&A at 6:28 AM
1 Comments:
Yes! We all know who rules the roost in a home with small children.
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